As soon as I open the door, I find Lucifer standing in the hallway. He’s wearing a black suit as usual, his hair slightly loose and not pushed back. I can’t help when my mind wanders to what he was wearing when he saved me, how he was splattered in our enemies’ blood. He sullied his expensive outfit to avenge me—who said romance is not dead?

  Is there anything that’s more of a turn-on than being violently avenged by an attractive man?

  I blink… nope, we can’t go there. We still have no secrets and Beelzebub to cross off our list before we give in. I can’t give in, no matter how good he looks.

  “Sleep well?” I nod my head, and he smirks. “Was my performance adequate?”

  My mouth gapes as I glare at him. “You can not use what I said when I thought I was in a dream against me.”

  “Did you really think you were dreaming, darling?”

  “Yes, now what are we doing today?” I ask, trying to change the subject. Sadly, I didn’t have any fun dreams last night.

  “A date.”

  “A date?” He nods and holds out his hand. I slip mine against his. My longer dark nails contrast against his skin, and I can’t help but to toy with a silver ring on his finger. This feels nice, comfortable, in a way that I thought would have faded after time and distance apart.

  “Where does the Devil take one on a date?” I ask, knowing he hates the term Devil, but I enjoy getting under his skin. Is there any stronger form of foreplay than being a brat?

  “I suppose he would want to take his date somewhere she had never been before. But I’m not sure if he should reward a smart mouth.”

  I tug on his hand, catching his smirk. “Oh, you like it. Let’s go.”

  He pulls me closer, our hands still locked, and his other hand wraps around my shoulder blades. It’s disorienting at first; it always is when someone else brings you along, but when I blink, taking in the world before me, I’m in awe.

  “It’s the realm of the fated,” he informs softly.

  “What does that even mean?”

  He clicks his tongue and sighs. “Let me show you.”

  It’s like we’re in a futuristic tropical paradise. All the colors of the trees, water, and ground are far brighter than anything I’ve seen on Earth. The trees' leaves are so brightly green that one melts into the next. The sky is cloudless and the brightest shade of blue I’ve ever seen. Two stark suns sit in the sky, and it almost feels like sensory overload. It smells like honeysuckle, and there’s a low lulling of birds chattering in the distance. We’re walking down a carved-out path, and my focus is on the view surrounding us, but it’s impossible not to feel Lucifer's presence.

  It’s only when we reach the end of the path that I see what a futuristic planet this is. I’m still not sure about the difference between a realm and a planet, but I fear it’s too late to ask at this point.

  It’s a metropolis of people wearing simple a-line outfits in bold colors like magenta and periwinkle. The men all have gray trousers and similar-colored tops. The people look human, but not quite. They are taller, their eyes and ears larger. It’s like they took humanity and made everything better here.

  One thing I notice immediately is how everyone is walking in a couple, different gender pairings, but everyone is with someone.

  “Everyone has a fated mate here?” I ask, and Lucifer nods his head.

  He continues to hold my hand as we make our way to a futuristic pod-looking vehicle. The door automatically shuts behind us once we take our seats. It’s just large enough for two people to sit comfortably. The back is white, and the entire front is glass, so you can see where you’re going. I take in everything around me, from the tiny differences between this species and humans to how beautiful everything on this planet is. Everything is just close enough to being like Earth that it’s not too jarring, but everything is more colorful and less tainted than Earth is. The inhabitants of this planet clearly value it, at home all of these trees would have been taken down, but yet here, they thrive. Lucifer watches me as I take in the world around us, and I let him. The silence should be stifling, but it’s comfortable.

  I should wonder why he brought me here, I’m guessing the scenery has to be the reason. I’m definitely not complaining about the location for a first date.

  The pod lands by a lake that is nearly crystal clear. There’s just a light tint of aquamarine to the water, but you can see the rocks, crystals, and fish clearly from where we stand.

  Lucifer unfolds a blanket placing it on the white sand next to the water. I take that as my cue to sit next to him.

  “It’s beautiful here.”

  “It is.”

  “Why are we here?”

  “You said no more secrets?” I nod, and he clears his throat. “This is where I first met you.”

  I furrow my brows as I look him over, knowing damn well I’ve never been here before. “What?”

  “Well, a version of you.” He glances over at me before looking back at the water. I can’t help but feel that we’re both overdressed for this little lakeside adventure. “I was already this,” he says, waving to himself. “But I came here to see the realm. Not many of the creatures here end up in Hell, it’s very rare. So I wanted to understand why. That’s when I met you.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “That you’re my reincarnated fated mate.”

  I blink at him and let go of his hand, feeling like he’s full of shit. I’ve seen that Heaven and Hell exist. I’ve seen a myriad of supernatural creatures. But reincarnation?

  I take a breath and nod. “Go on.”

  “Everyone on this planet is destined to be with someone. You usually find them early on in life, it’s uncommon to not find your mate. Back then, your name was Lily.” I blink at him, thinking about my code name with Blair, and when I asked him who Lily was, he said that it was me. “You never found your mate, not that you were old, but when I came here to visit, it was clear that we were destined for each other.”

  I wave my hand, urging him to go on, not sure what else to say.

  “Most people here didn’t understand and didn’t approve. Most of all, you didn’t approve. You were innocent and sweet, being caught up in my darkness was a challenge for you.”

  “Maybe let’s stick to Lily and not me. I don’t have any memories of what you’re saying. So I don’t think it’s fair to call me Lily.”

  He sighs. “I suppose you’re right. You two aren’t similar.” I swallow thickly, thinking about how much he must like this other version of who I was better. Even if I don’t completely understand it. His thumb tilts my chin as he looks at me, his dark eyes soft and his face relaxed. “I like you just the way you are. I wouldn’t change anything.”

  I sigh, but I nod and let him continue.

  “I visited often. I cared deeply for Lily, but she had a decision to make; to live her life here or to come with me to Hell to be a demon.”

  “What did she choose?”

  “She chose to stay here until it was her true time to come to Hell. Unfortunately, she never got the chance. She never chose me, and I don’t quite blame her.” It’s at that moment, Lucifer's stoic facade falls, he’s never been chosen by someone. Fate has always decided for him, and all he wants is for someone to care for him for who he is. I swallow thickly as I stare at him.

  His eyes look out at the lake, and I wonder how I truly compare to Lily, if we’re the same to him or different. I don’t think I like being compared to someone, even if we are the same but in different lifetimes. I can’t help but to feel that I’m giving him something Lily never could have—genuine affection. The thought makes me shiver as Lucifer continues.

  “God was mad at me, perhaps jealous. I’m not sure.”

  “She killed her?”

  “She did. Not only did she kill her, she taunted me with the chance of getting her back.”

  “The dagger?” I ask.

  “It’s what she killed Lily with, said that if the dagger was ever awakened again that it would be her gift to me. A stronger version of Lily, a version that could handle my darkness and represent her forgiveness for what I had become.”

  “How long ago was this?”

  “A few thousand years. There were a few centuries where I was a little out of control with power and bloodlust. I needed to be reeled in, but I still don’t think the means were just.”

  “I forget how old you are,” I say without thinking, and he scoffs.

  “So that is why I have been the way that I am with you. I’ve seen a version of you taken away from me, and I can’t let it happen again. I can’t lose you again.” He says it softly and in a tone so genuine that I can’t help but stare at him. He looks right back at me, his expression is one of a man who has gone through torture, who has been alone for so long, and I’m that last speck of hope.

  “So I’m your fated mate?” I groan as I admit what I’ve always held back. “I’ve felt it,” I admit to him, and he smirks. ”It’s like a tug against my heart pulling me towards you. I thought maybe I was just pathetically missing you, but it’s something more.”

  “It’s much more. It’s everything.”

  “Then why did you let me leave?” I ask one of the biggest questions I’ve always had. Why did he not take my side when Diana was murdered? Why did he send me away with Elvor?

  “Partly because I thought you were safer on Earth and that you needed time to learn who you are, I also wanted to give you a choice. But mostly because I can’t risk anyone knowing.”

  “Know what?”

  “About us. I can’t have people knowing that we’re together. That you’re my fated mate. The risk is too high. It puts your life in danger, just as you saw yesterday.” I swallow thickly. I can’t deny that I very nearly lost my life to the angels the other day. But the thought of being his secret… I’m not sure I can handle that either. “I want to give you everything, Lilith. All that I ask is you let me protect you, and the only way I can do that is by not making this known.”

  “But Kas and Toth know,” I say. I know I sound petulant. I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t be someone’s secret.

  “They’re extremely loyal and trusted friends. In the manor, we can be everything we want to be. We can travel to places where we can be affectionate openly with each other, as long as it’s safe.”

  “But in court, in front of other demons?”

  “You’ll need to be my assistant.”

  “What if they just think I’m your plaything?”

  “Look how that turned out with the angels,” he says plainly, and I sigh. I don’t like it at all, and I’m sure that he can read it on my face. “I can’t lose you, Lilith. Please.”

  I’m sure the word please is so rarely used by Lucifer that it was nearly painful for him to say. The larger than life man in front of me has so many facets and insecurities, just as I do. He’s lost someone before, just like I have, so I can understand his protectiveness. I sigh and nod my head. “I still get to hurt Beelzebub.”

  He smirks and nods. “For all of eternity, once he’s found, of course.”

  He pushes my hair off my shoulder and looks at me like I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. “You won’t compare me to Lily?” I ask.

  He smiles and shakes his head. “There’s no comparison, love. My darkness calls to yours.”

  Chapter twenty-five

  The first thing I wanted to do when we portalled back to Hell is take Lilith to my bed and finally lose myself inside of her. Finally, show her that I’m truly hers. She still has this dreamy look on her face as we walk through the halls, heading toward my quarters.

  “Sir,” Toth interrupts, and I hold back a groan. “Asmodeus and Dax are here.”

  “Can’t it wait?”

  Toth shakes his head, he looks between Lilith and me. I sigh dramatically but trust that Toth wouldn’t waste my time.

  Lilith looks to me for guidance, and I gesture with my head for her to follow. We all enter the meeting room, and the tension is thick. Daxaddon and Asmodeus look as though they might shit themselves. Lilith, Toth, and Milcom stand in the corner as I try to tamper my mood.

  “Update?” I bark, wondering why the fuck they’ve interrupted my evening.

  “We found one of the possessed. It’s clear that when they’re possessing, the mortal is present throughout. The mortal woman said she witnessed evil deeds while she was possessed, said the demon’s name is Mara.”

  I flinch at the name and glance over at Milcom. Beelzebub and Milcom reported that I had no other children, gifted or otherwise, that were currently alive. I tap my chin, wondering how I will make him suffer. The decision to hand over Beelzebub to Lilith has just gotten easier.

  I have another daughter, and she’s been living on Earth—suffering. There’s a pain in my chest, and I rub the spot as I look back at Asmodeus and Daxaddon’s confused faces.

  “When you find Mara, you are to capture her and bring her to Hell. Her soul is not to be destroyed. She is to be brought to me intact. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, Lord,” they say in unison.

  “Milcom, a word?” I tip my head, dismissing the two demons in the room, assuming they will portal out of the meeting room. Milcom, Toth, and Lilith follow me out of the room, and I do my best not to fully snap.

  As soon as we’re in the hallway, I grab Milcom by the throat, pinning him to the wall. Toth and Lilith watch with wide eyes but don’t intervene.

  “You said she didn’t make it to childhood.”

  “It was Beelzebub, sir. We split up duties so we could get to Hell quicker.” I taste the lie as he speaks, but don’t call him out on it. Milcom has been around a long time, he knows a great deal of the inner workings of Hell. I trusted him, and this is how he repays me?

  “If I find you are lying, you will suffer. Do you understand?” Milcom nods his head, a bead of sweat rolling down his temple. His face is red from the grip of my hand. “Bring me Beelzebub.”

  I toss him down like the disregarded piece of shit that he is and storm off to my room. I hear the clicking of Lilith’s heels behind me but don’t slow my pace. The noise that escapes me is horrific and nearly animalistic as I swing my door open, tossing my jacket along with my cufflinks to the floor. I can’t breathe.

  The collar to my shirt feels so fucking suffocating that I aggressively rip it to mid-waist. I sit on the edge of the bed, my elbows on my thighs and my fingers tugging on the strands of my hair.

  I nearly forgot Lilith was here until she’s kneeling in front of me, her small hands on my thighs as she looks at me with compassion and adoration that I don’t fucking deserve.

  “Who is Mara?” she asks softly. I rub my eyes roughly with the palms of my hands.

  “My daughter.”

  She stills for a moment until she rubs my thighs again. “We’ll get her back,” she insists, and it makes me look at her in a new light. She should be telling me what a fuck up I am. How I can’t take care of anyone who is truly important to me. I don’t deserve Lilith or my daughters. But to my core, I’m a selfish bastard, and I plan on somehow making this right with all of them.

  “I… I didn’t know.”

  She nods her head and takes her heels off, but she never stops touching me. “Do you trust them to bring her back safely?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Do you want me to go?”

  I shake my head, not able to conceptualize the thought of her leaving too. “No. If this is too much…”

  She squeezes my thighs. “It’s not. I love Blair, and I’m sure I’ll love Mara too.”

  That makes me smile, and I shake my head. “You know I was aware that you were seeing her?”

  She shrugs her shoulders in a way that tells me she didn’t care how I felt about her checking in on Blair all these years. “Besides just caring for her as a person, I think she was the thing that kept me close to you while we were apart.”

  My fingertips push her hair back and trail down her face, tilting her chin up to me. “I don’t deserve you, Hellfire.”

  “I know.” She smirks. “But I’m here anyway.”

  “Kas,” I say, and her eyebrows furrow. “Kas is on the case as well.”

  Lilith smiles fondly at the name of her friend. Who I semi-hate solely for the fact she is part of the reason Lilith and I were separated for so long. I know it’s mostly my fault, but it’s easier to blame others.

  “I can speak to her,” she says, and I shake my head.

  “No, I’ll contact her.”

  She tilts her head but nods. All the delicious thoughts I had earlier are gone. All I want to do is flagellate myself for my failures. How could I be so careless? Am I still being careless now?

  Blair seems happy, and that’s because I protect her from afar. Honestly, I wonder sometimes if she would be happier if she just never knew about me. Maybe it’s best for Mara if I just help her with becoming a full demon and then leave her alone. Why does it feel like everything I touch fractures?

  “Come on,” Lilith encourages, tugging me onto the bed. She lies next to me, placing her head and palm on my chest. Her scent and presence center me a little bit, although I can’t help but feel lost.

  Am I truly destined and undeserving of love? Is that why these things keep happening?

  I’ve contemplated numerous times on if I should go to Earth and fetch Mara myself. But each time I consider that idea, I can’t help the nagging amount of guilt and self-loathing that follows me. It’s evident everyone around me is aware of my mood.

  Toth keeps his distance while Milcom has been hiding in the pits, in fear of my wrath, I’m sure.

  The only person who doesn’t hide from me is Lilith. She’s not aggressively in my face, but she keeps her place at my side, doing her job as my assistant and my partner. I guess we didn’t put a particular label on it, but she’s mine even though I don’t deserve her.

  My first meeting of the day is with Ponds, and all I want to do is kill the little narc as he sits across the table from Lilith and myself.

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27